Police have responded to five reports of a nude man on a trail in Mill Creek Canyon in Utah this year. The latest case was a woman running by herself at 11am when a man off the trail stood up from behind a bush to expose himself. The police have no leads on the man’s identity. Women have described him as ‘6 feet tall and out of shape,’ which would probably horrify the guy. Maybe we can shame him into stopping harassing joggers. If not, it’ll be cold and the leaves will be gone, so it’ll be easier to spot him off the trail where a nude-colored snowsuit.

via Wend

A man in Unalaska decided to head into the woods for a hike while he was very drunk. Shortly thereafter he realized he’d become quite lost, so he dialed 911 and reported to the dispatcher that he had gone drunken hiking and was now lost. Police officers found him on a hillside and strongly advised that he not hike in the dark while drunk anymore. Oh yeah? Sounds like someone forgot to remind those officers that this is America, where last time I still checked, we were free to hike drunk in the dark.

via Outdoor Pressroom

The LA Sheriff’s Department created a few new YouTube stars when they released this three-minute video of a rescue of some stranded hikers. The group was stuck clinging to a cliff while the helicopter lowered someone to grab them. I wonder what the rescuer yelled to the woman when he got to her, “HEY. YOU GOT CASH OR DO WE HAVE TO BILL YOU LATER FOR THIS?” For a minute I thought the helicopter was just going to blow them all off the cliff to save the trouble of collecting them.

via Wend

The FBI is looking for five people who possibly came into contact with an AT from Indiana who was found dead in Virginia. The hiker who died used the trail name Stonewall, and investigators are looking to talk to people with these trail names: “Mr. Coffee,” “White Wolf,” “Papa Smurf,” a team called “Combat Gizmo” and “Space Cadet” who may be a couple.

This is the second hiker who has died of unidentifiable circumstances in remote Virginia, and while the FBI doesn’t think that there’s a killer targeting solo hikers, it never hurts to exercise some precaution.

A proposal on the table right now would make thru-hikers pay a backcountry permit fee while marching through Great Smoky Mountains National Park. The AT runs through the park for 70 miles. For years the park has required thru-hikers to get overnight permits for staying at sites along the trail, but they’ve always been free. Right now there is an open discussion period for whether there should be a fee, if so how much ($5-30 being thrown around), and just how the park would collect the fees from the people walking on the trail. Logistically getting cash out of the hikers would be tough. I’m sure there’s some system in place right now since the park already requires permits, but I suspect that many of the hikers on the trial just register online for the permits and then don’t worry about the details unless they see a ranger. The worst idea up for discussion is whether a private company should be in charge of levying and collecting the money from hikers. I can just imagine it now, a rented security team driving up and down the trail on off-road Segways shaking down hikers for money.