The Goat

Using some mysterious magical technology called an ultracapacitor, the 5.11 Light for Life UC3.400 can soak up a full charge that’ll keep it running for 23.5 hours after charging for only 90 seconds. The $170 flashlight isn’t for sale yet, but if they actually go to market it’ll be a great example of a nice product overcoming a terrible, terrible name. They say the UC3.400 would last for 50,000 charges, which works out to one charge a day for 135 years. Too bad no one thought to apply this charging technology to all the electric cars and any other rechargeable toy on the market. Hmm, maybe because it isn’t real?

via Gizmodo

Here’s the best way to avoid the housing market fallout apocalypse. You can just push off the dock and float downstream if the bank comes to foreclose. Too bad you won’t have the same luck avoiding storms. I know a lot of retirees want to live on the lake, and this might be the only viable way to do so since property taxes won’t kill you—of course, I’ll bet flood insurance is through the roof.

And the best part about living on a house boat is that if you don’t like your neighbors, you can just pick up the anchor and move.

Thanks Tristan

If this Flashpoint handheld microwave turns out to be a real product it’s going to cause some problems when you forget to turn it off before stuffing it in your backpack. Not to mention that there will be issues when it’s the only thing you can find at night when looking for a light to take on the walk to go to the bathroom—I can imagine the forest fires now. According to the literature, the FlashPoint ES is a pocket-sized mini-microwave that you wave over your food like a magic wand to heat stuff up. I don’t know much about radiation or microwaves, but this thing should also work wonderfully as a Death Ray.

Outside Magazine has a sneak peek at the upcoming Surefire Headlamp that will cost $190. The machine puts out 100 lumens of car-headlight-intensity and runs off three expensive CR123 batteries, but it’s not clear how long the lamp will burn atop your skull until it leaves you in the dark and miles from your real car headlights. The Saint Headlamp will hopefully interface with the rest of Surefire’s products, because I want to strap it to the front of my M-16 while duck hunting.

via Outside

Load up your Collapsed World Financial Market Survival Kit with one of these Sparky Firestarter Knives and you’ll be able to cook your food on piles of rubble instead of eating squirrels and looted meat while it’s still raw. You can actually hear jets flying overhead during this extra long video on how to start fires with knives, which is something we won’t have to put up with once the government declares martial law and requisitions all fuel for CIA helicopters. Also, if the doomsday scenarios don’t come true, you’ll be able to use the $165 Sparky Knife for camping.

via Going Prepared

The Skeeter Beater is a piece of mosquito netting loaded with magnets that you use to cover an open car window (when parked) and sleep with a breeze but not bugs. In my experience you don’t get much of a breeze lying on the floor of a car while the windows above are all open, but at least it’ll give you the option to try. The Skeeter Beaters cost about $30, or you could make your own with a $3 piece of mosquito netting, a stolen sewing machine, and a bag full of kitchen magnets. If I made one of my own I would make it enormous so that I could throw it like a net and try to pin small animals against my vehicle.

via Gear Junkie

I want to get one of these waterproof backpacks to carry a towel around that I’ll use only for drying my back off after getting done with bike rides. There’s something about the combination of the words “dry” and “bagger that doesn’t quite roll off the tongue; they should have just called it the peak—too bad some jackass probably has that name copyrighted. Anyway, the Dry Peak Bagger from Outdoor Research is a small, 9.2oz waterproof backpack that’ll be great for carrying your rain gear into a storm or your goldfish home from the pet store. The Dry Peak Beggar (ugh) costs $50.

Now that the summer weddings are over and the parade of guests has slowed to a trickle (except for you lucky jerks living in ski towns—it hasn’t even begun) The National Park Service is offering free entrance to the parks. Entrance should be free all the time since it’s our money that’s funding these things, but at least we can still travel unmolested and camp for free in any national forest. Apparently September 27^th is something called “National Public Lands Day,” and now that I found out I’m mad that it’s not a three-day weekend. Of course, I’m sure people working in liquor stores in Utah get the day off since all the stores will be closed.

via GetOutdoors

NEMO Equipment will be replacing their aluminum tent poles with a bamboo version that weighs about an ounce less and produces a much more satisfying crunch when slammed in the trunk of your car. Working through a fly fishing manufacturer to make the poles, Nemo will be using Tonkin cane, which is sometimes called “steel bamboo.” It will be made in China, which is sometimes called, “The new Superpower now that they own all the world’s manufacturing while everyone else relies on crumbling financial markets for their GNP.” The eco-friendly poles are due out in 2009.

via Gear Junkie

The lady at the Army Surplus Store who sold me my flask said in a high-pitched Chinese accent, “Don’t drink too much.” I haven’t, but only because the flask is too hard to fill without the funnel I lost on the first night out. Now the company that makes work thermoses and food containers for hikers is rolling out a slim flask. The Stanley Classic Flask has a wide mouth for easy refilling (and drinking) and costs $22.

via Uncrate