Super-Secret Pollution Masks for U.S. Athletes in Beijing
The top amateur athletes from the United States will be relying on the matheletes back at home to keep their lungs gunk-free. The U.S. has secretly developed a pollution mask that Olympians can wearing while sightseeing, attending the opening ceremonies, or playing tennis. Of course, they risk insulting their hosts who insist that air cleaning measures will ensure the air safe to breathe by the time the Olympics kick off.
The Chinese just can’t win. One minute they’re overcrowding the planet with their population explosion and the next their infringing on human rights by telling citizens they can only have two kids. One minute they’re a hopelessly backwards country clawing their way into the industrial revolution, and the next they’re the world’s biggest polluters. Lucky for us, no one was around to point the finger when we were buying sweet SUVs and coming up with ways to turn food into gasoline instead of looking for cleaner sources of energy. I’m just saying, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t, you know, use Windex without cracking a window.
Anyway, the U.S. ran this Philadelphia Experiment to build a secret gas mask for our athletes. Hopefully it comes available for urban Rollerbladers after the games.
By Rocky Thompson- rockythompson
This entry was posted on TUESDAY, JULY 22, 2008 - 7:46 A.M. and is filed under Story, Gear. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:50 pm
It’s one child, not two.
August 6th, 2008 at 8:00 am
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