The Goat

You won’t have to find a table in the restaurant with a view of your car’s rack anymore. The Docks Locks Security System lets you attach a 10-foot cable to your board so you can lock it to your car or even a bike rack if you feel like it. You can attach the lock through either the fin track or where your leash hooks up. Just hope that no one has a bolt cutter in their car.

Nerds in the outdoors. Video game addicts. At least your kids will go outside now. Tom’s Hardware made this solar powered Nintendo DS Lite so you and Mario can jam while everyone else is looking at the scenery. At least the music from the game will keep bears away about as well as a bear bell.

via Gizmodo

Pink, the Love Courier service, is a group of bike messengers in Austin that pass out love notes. I’m done trying to figure out how they make money, but apparently they have enough to take their show on the road. They’re traveling to Portland in their pink jumpsuits to ride pink single-speeds around and deliver love notes. I don’t know why, but I don’t trust them. Maybe I know too much about bike messenger culture. The messengers I know aren’t the type to wear pink jumpsuits and work for free.

via Bike Portland

Let me just cut down this little tree here to build a lean-to so we can get some shelter for the night. Good thing I brought my Coleman Pocket Handsaw for our little hike, who knew we’d get lost? The good news is that even if it doesn’t work very well for cutting trees, I can use it to strangle you and dismember your body for food in case we’re out here more than a week, plus it was only three dollars.

If you’re too accustomed to chairlifts to start pedaling uphill on a real bike, the Swiss Bike Board is what you want. This adult tricycle isn’t just for people who have trouble balancing on two wheels; the manufacturers say it’s for snowboarders who have nowhere else to turn. The board is meant to mimic the feel of carving a snowboard, well, a snowboard with a handle on it. They also make snow, off-road, and water attachments that cost $600 each for the original Street Board, which sells for $978.

via Crunch Gear

You like to run, but you’re not in good enough shape to outrun muggers going after your iPod? The Quantum Satellite Technology running shoes made by Isaac Daniel come with a hidden panic button that activates a GPS emergency beacon. It’s unclear who the emergency GPS notifies, maybe just your desktop at home? If the shoes are like the ACR Personal Locator Beacon, then they’ll call the Coast Guard who will call around to see if anyone knows where you are before sending the police to your location. Try to fight your assailants off for a good hour or so before the police arrive, or you could call them on your cell phone.

via Gizmodo

Thank god someone’s making Bike Skirts—bike shorts are so nerdy. The Blackbottoms Cycling Spinn and Skort is a mini dress that’s a lifesaver for strip club waitresses who like to bike to work. It has a 4-inch inner short with a pad that’ll cushion your ride and prevent shady guys from pinching your ass. At $72 it’s pretty spendy, good thing you have a stack of $1s three inches thick.

If I was sick of climbing indoors, I think I would try moving outdoors before I converted my climbing wall to a found art project. This Japanese climbing wall uses picture frames, conventional holds, mirrors, and a deer’s head as climbing holds. At least they had the presence of mind to put the deer head at the top so people don’t fall on the antlers and injure themselves. Shouldn’t those people have ropes? Their clothing choices make them look fairly inexperienced.

via GetOutdoors

The Brian Jonestown Massacre is a great band, and not only that—it’s a great band name. It’s impossible for me to imagine another band that could live up to the portmanteau of the original Stones guitarist Brian Jones and the mass cult suicide in Jonestown, Utah.

Burton’s new Jonestown Jacket is a lightweight windbreaker that looks pretty cool, but it doesn’t quite live up to the name it leans on. Still, it’s purple, which is nice.

I spend most of my time riding with my hands on the flat part of my road bars since I don’t have much occasion to sprint to the grocery store or get in an aero position to pass trucks. Kore’s Palmster road bar grips attach to your handlebar flats with four bolts so you don’t have to slide them over the curved part of your bars. A “Palmster” sounds more like a prostitute’s specialty than a bike part—try not to let that bother you.