Officials in Arkansas are trying to figure out what could have simultaneously killed 1,000 blackbirds over a 1-mile area around the town of Beebe. The game and fish commission began receiving reports of the dead birds around 11:30pm on New Year’s Eve, and a survey turned up all the dead animals. It’s surprising that anyone would be near enough the game and fish commission on New Year’s Eve at 11:30 to answer the phone. So far their best theory is that fireworks panicked the birds so much they all had heart attacks. Doesn’t sound too likely. You know there’s one guy one there who knows exactly what happened, and he’s hoping this whole thing will blow over before anyone figures it out.

Update: 100,000 dead fish added to the list.

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