The battle some property owners in the west are waging against the resurgence of grey wolves has moved into chemical warfare. One dog was killed and two others sickened after they ate poison-laced sausage that had been left on the trail. Investigators think the sausage may have been left in an attempt to kill local wolves. The sausage was left in Bonner County (don’t laugh) and found by a woman walking her dogs. It was tested and found to contain carbaryl, a chemical used to kill insects.

Police are looking for leads on the Poison Sausage Killer. Hopefully they find him soon; that’s the worst serial killer moniker of all time.

via Outdoor Pressroom

The only problem with hiking is that you have to walk so darn much. Good news for historical park lovers and haters of walking - the NPS is demoing Segway tours at Fredericksburg and Spotsylvania National Military Park. You’ll have to pay $55 for the privilege of rolling over the graves of Civil War soldiers.

A man and woman hiking at Rainbow Lake campground near Boulder, Colorado were confronted by a rifle-toting man at about 6pm yesterday. He fired off one shot and then tied them to a tree. The man freed himself and made a break for it. The assailant released the woman without harming her (beyond tying her to a tree), and the police later found her hiding in the couple’s car. The couple can only have what I imagine will be a long talk about the future of their relationship, and how the man will behave in the future if they’re ever tied to a tree together.

Police are on the lookout for the assailant: The suspect is described as white, approximately 40 years old. He was wearing an olive green shirt, camouflage shorts, a floppy army cap, black boots. A black bandana covered part of his face.

via Out There

The Coast Guard in the Gulf of Mexico took a break from cleaning up the oil disaster to scoop a Florida resident out of the sea. A man in a recreational boat spotted the floater and called in the Coast Guard, who pulled him off the toy and brought him to the hospital.

The man, identified as Jerry Whipple, is “suspected of being extremely inebriated,” said Petty Officer First Class Mariana O’Leary.

Of course he was. How else do you get a mile offshore on a pool toy? He was also passed out, which leads me to believe that he was part of a much larger convoy of drunken people floating in the ocean, but was cut loose once he passed out.

A remote mountain village in New Zealand is for sale for about $1 million. You get the hotel, post office, pub and all of the houses. Forty-four people live there now, so you’ll have to put up with a bit of company, but you should win the mayoral race in a landslide. And if you don’t win, you can just evict everyone who lives in your homes. The current owners bought the town in 1998 after passing through on vacation and saying they, “felt sorry for it.” If that’s not a ringing endorsement for sale, I don’t know what is.