Bear Grylls Named Chief Scout of Boy Scouts
By Rocky Thompson on May 19th, 2009
Outdoor adventurer and lovable hunk Bear Grylls has been named Chief Scout of the Boy Scouts. At 34 years old he’s the youngest and best-looking person to ever hold the figurehead position. I hope he’s not too bummed when he finds out that he’ll have to attend rallies and give speeches dedicated to excluding overweight and gay people from the Scouts when he comes to America. Grylls will hold the position for five years, during which time he’ll be the Commander in Chief of an army half a million strong.
Good god, the things he’ll teach them. Badges for the drinknig of urine and the eating of rotten meat. Badges for the construction of overly complicated hunting tools. Badges for the riskiest way to get from point A to point B? That and he’ll have them all talking with an accent.
Why not get Ann Coulter or Courtney Love to be the Head Girlscout next?
I think Palin is already leading the ladies in their outdoor pursuits . . .
If any of you, including Rocky Thompson had bothered to so much as glanced at the article you would have seen that his appointment is for Boy Scouts in the UK.
i’m an eagle scout, and fuck bear grylls.
Scouts are getting fiesty now. Lookout…he’s building a fire!
No self-respecting gay guy wants to wear a brown uniform anyway…looks too much like UPS.
He’s being made Chief Scout in Britain. Being European, they likely are much more accepting of gays, larger kids, and camel dung-juice drinking crazies than the BS of A.
I’ve been a scout for almost 50 years, and I don’t know anything about excluding overweight kids. The exclusion of gays is limited to adults.