Cycling News is reporting that there’s more to Lance Armstrong’s recent collarbone surgery than originally suspected.

Sources within the Armstrong camp explained that initial reports that the break was a single, clean fracture were true. But the seven-time Tour winner had been told he could shave seconds per kilometre off of his time trials if only his shoulders weren’t so broad. The American decided that, since he faced several weeks of recovery from the broken bone anyhow, he might as well go through with a plan which would shorten both clavicles and narrow the width of his upper body.

They’re also making his head slightly more cone-shaped so that it’ll fare better riding into the wind. I think they’re also adding robotic legs. Remember to be vigilant today, sucker.

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