Enviro Mountain Microwavable, Edible Wax
By Rocky Thompson on April 1st, 2008
Dump enough gobs of soft pink wax into your skis when spring hits and you’ll start trying to figure out what happens to all those toxic hydrocarbons that melt your lungs. Well, some of it stays in yours skis, some gets inhaled when the iron’s too hot, and some rubs off your skis and into the snow. Enviro Mountain is trying to make a living producing earth-friendly wax that will also protect your skis. They make no claims to the damage it does to your lungs, but they do say you can rub the wax on or microwave it to apply it. They also claim it’s edible, so it can’t be any worse than inhaling pixy sticks. The 4oz bars of Enviro Mountain Wax cost about $16.
R. Hayes is the Pixie Stix Sniffing inventor. Every Year, Cache Valley hosts a pixie stix contest. Its like a pie eating contest for sugar freaks. R. Hayes won that contest for 7 years straight in the 90’s. At one point, he snorted 20 grams of pixie dust in 37 minutes. They say that his heart is actually purple because that was his favorite flavor of pixie stix. Asked why he is such a strong proponent for Pixie Dust, R. Hayes replies, “Sniffing glue is for pu$$ies.” His favorite word is “BUZZED.”