Life Mimicking Commercials
By Rocky Thompson on February 15th, 2007
If you’ve seen the “ideas†credit card commercial, you’re familiar with the people jumping around the city on shoe-style pogo sticks. Now the Fly Jumper is a reality for people who don’t ever have to walk on slick ground or climb stairs. Theses metal-sprung stilts hook around your legs below your knees and send you bouncing from lamppost to lamppost for breaks. They look kind of fun, but the learning curve has to be a painful one—you can’t expect those wrist guards to offer too much support.
From the Fly Jumper site…
“It’s the unique product that can promote your whole joints. Passed many tests with many people: the product has many functions: e.g. Helpful circulation of blood, Growing up, Reduce weight, Bodybuilding, Benefit to your intelligence, Eliminate hemorrhoids and so on.”
Hemorrhoids?
[...] In the early 70s, a Soviet scientist created these gasoline powered shoes that propel runners up to 22mph. The technology was classified as generals imagined soldiers running effortlessly alongside tanks in these early combustion-powered Fly Jumpers. The technology was declassified in 1994, but apparently I’m the only one who wants a pair since the Russian company that tried to bring them to market went out of business in 2006. The rocket shoes get 70 miles per gallon and weigh only 2lb each. They’re probably not too good with mud, rocks, stairs, or shins, but you have to be willing to make some sacrifices to be the fastest man on earth. [...]