Squirrel Packs Killing Animals, Humans Next
By Rocky Thompson on December 13th, 2006
Fear of bears in some places is reasonable. Fear of sharks in the ocean is a bit of a stretch. Fear of Mountain Lions is about as rational as fear of squirrels. Seriously, it’s okay to be a little afraid of squirrels now. This is a messed up story.
Now if I could get these little ninjas shipped to my place to take out the neighbors dog that has been crapping in my front yard.
i think i’d rather get attacked by a bear or lion than by hundreds a squirrels. blech
[...] The Biker Dog reminds me of the scene in National Lampoon’s Vacation when the motorcycle cop pulls over Clark Griswold because he has a dog leash and collar hanging from his bumper. Your dog better be smart enough to keep his face out of your spokes or you’ll both go tumbling in one indefinable ball of fur, helmet, and fangs. Maybe put some of those blinders horses wear in traffic on your dog’s head if it’s over 100lb so it doesn’t take off after squirrels. By Rocky Thompson [...]
[...] Squirrels are the new mountain lions. These beasts are coming out of the trees and attacking humans—and now they’ve developed snake camo. They smear themselves with snakeskin to mask their scent and avoid getting eaten by snakes. If this “snake charming†works then the squirrel population will go unchecked for too long. When the squirrel count swells the animals will begin attacking humans in packs. We’ll all have to start carrying bb gun sidearms and wearing protective fencing masks when we walk outside. [...]
[...] First they’re attacking humans by themselves then working in packs—we have to keep an eye on these things. [...]